Ranking the Godzilla Monsters (#40-31)
Oh look, more rankings. What is this time, you may be asking yourself? Well, it's uh... well, you read the title, right? *cough*
This time I'll be ranking all of the kaiju (And one or two non-kaiju) that have appeared in Godzilla movies. And boy, is there a lot of them. I will be excluding Godzilla from the list, as he would automatically get #1. So, let's begin.
#40: Kamoebas (Film Appearances: Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.) Abilities: Hard carapace, extendable neck
AKA: OH BOY, HE'S DEAD
Ah, yes. Poor Kamoebas, we barely even knew you. Or, to be more specific, we didn't know you at all. Kamoebas literally shows up in the film Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. for like 20 seconds... as a washed-up corpse. He's been killed by Godzilla. However, Kamoebas did have a more extended outing in the 1970 film Space Amoeba as one of the main antagonists, but even then he was just kind of a giant rock turtle kaiju who couldn't do very much. So yeah. Automatically bottom of the list because we never see him do anything in any of the Godzilla films.
#39: Varan (Film Appearances: Destroy all Monsters) Abilities: Flight at mach 1.5
AKA: The Levitating Squirrel Guy
Oh look, another monster who did absolutely nothing in a Godzilla movie. He did have his own movie in 1958 titled Varan, but he still didn't do all that much. He really just watches the fight against King Ghidorah in this movie, but hey, at least he's not a washed-up corpse.
#38: Shockirus (Film Appearances: The Return of Godzilla) Abilities: Hard carapace, extraordinary jumper, can suck vital fluids from host
AKA: Nothing to Louse, Right?
Oh look, another monster that was barely even in The Return of Godzilla. At least this one was actually seen doing stuff. So yeah, this thing is pretty lame and doesn't really do much other than attack a guy in the very beginning of the movie. It wasn't really explained too well either, the explanation just being a theory (and that scene was even cut out of the American re-release of the film).
#37: Giant Condor (Film Appearances: Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster) Abilities: Flight
AKA: Giant Condor
Boring...
Yeah, this guy kind of sucks. He's just a large bird who flies up to Godzilla, tries to claw him and ends up getting blasted with atomic breath and sent into the ocean dead. Yep. That's all he does.
#36: Giant Octopus/Oodako (Film Appearances: Godzilla vs. King Kong) Abilities: None
AKA: LOL TENTACLES ORIGINAL MEME 2016
Well, this kaiju at least accomplished a little bit more than the Giant Condor. It attacked a small village and fought King Kong, but that's really it. It's another animal-turned-kaiju enemy that at the end of the day isn't really that neccessary or interesting.
#35: Gabara (Film Appearances: Godzilla's Revenge) Abilities: Electrical shock
AKA: Defective Bipedal Cat Beast
Wow. Just wow. What a silly, stupid kaiju. In case you're wondering what this thing even is, it's supposed to be a mutated bullfrog of some sort. Now, granted, it does appear in a child's dream, but I mean come on, look at it! This guy is at least better than the ones already listed because A) He's a more creative, thought-out kaiju and B) He actually does stuff. Anyway, this guy kind of sucks and OH MY GOD HIS ROAR IS SO ANNOYING. Seriously, I hate it.
#34: Zilla (Film Appearances: Godzilla 1998, Godzilla: Final Wars) Abilities: Agility, camouflage, burrowing, power breath, asexual reproduction
AKA: Tunahead
Yep, we had to get to this one. The "G.I.N.O." as some people call him (Godzilla Only In Name). This kaiju was kind of interesting in some ways, but overall was just a quick, not-too-powerful foe that got killed by Godzilla in a few seconds in Godzilla: Final Wars. I mean really, Zilla gets taken down by some missiles. Some missiles. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't even phase most of the Godzilla monsters.
#33: Kamacuras (Film Appearances: Son of Godzilla, Godzilla's Revenge, Godzilla: Final Wars) Abilities: Flight, camouflage
AKA: Godzilla Really Eats His Head Off
Kamacuras is basically just a giant praying mantis. While he may look kind of interesting, he doesn't really do all that much. There's more than one of him in Son of Godzilla and they just kind of bully Minilla, he's just stock footage in Godzilla's Revenge and in Godzilla: Final Wars he's taken out almost immediately. Needless to say, this kaiju didn't get much time in the spotlight, nor did he use his time all that well.
#32: Manda (Film Appearances: Destroy all Monsters, Godzilla: Final Wars) Abilities: Body constriction, incredible swimming
AKA: Snaaaaaaake!
This is an interesting little kaiju that first appeared in the 1963 film Atragon. He appeared a somewhat major kaiju in Destroy all Monsters and as a temporary enemy at the very beginning of Godzilla: Final Wars. He hasn't been shown to do all that much, but I am a fan of both his Showa and Millenium designs. I really like the aesthetic of them. Other than that, he doesn't have much going for him.
#31: Kumonga (Son of Godzilla, Destroy all Monsters, Godzilla: Final Wars) Abilities: Thick webbing, stinger, extraordinary jumper
AKA: Creepy Crawly
Kumonga's a pretty tough kaiju (At least her Showa version is, the Millenium one kind of sucked), and she's pretty vicious too. Unfortunately for her, that doesn't come across too well and what we get is a not-too-stellar kaiju. Better luck in future outings, I suppose (If there are any).
Welp, that's part one of four down. I hope to keep doing these lists, they're fun (but also time-consuming) to make.
-sonicfan0001
